Hello You guys

I am so sorry that I have not update my blog for a while. Right now I got a job already and also everything is going alright. Unfortunately!! something is really bad happen to me again and again. I seemed so upset with all situation. I couldnt force myself to be emotion about all things I got. I tried to relax and get some more rest but I couldnt get it through. I am also think about my life in the future. So, I have to move on anyway. I guess my love is so wonderful but sometimes it can kill me with no doubt. I have to be careful all the love I gave to anyone. That was all important. So, next time, I should not give all of my heart to anyone. Just protec myself from get hurt and stuff like that.

Today I went to the church, God said to the people that " You should have faith, hope and thankful in your life." God will be put everythings you pray by the name of Him. I wait for my praying. I prayed and kept saying thatnk you to him all the time with all situation. I also wanted my man comes back. The reason he did , it didnt make any sense. I pray for him and hope God will cure him. God lets me know today after church that he kept calling his sister and talked about the trouble he got with me. He seemed not want to listen at all, but I also hope that one part of his brain would regonize and realize all thing he has done with me. Wording, feeling, and loving that he used to give and take care of me.. I hope he might return his sister call in a couple day. He is in an out patient program at some hospital. He got a mental problem that why I do forgive and wait for him all the time. Some of my friend blames me that I should nt wait for this man. He might not make me happy a whole of my life. He might not seeem to be a good couple in the future. I also didnt listen to them . When you love someone, you wil understand that how hard a situation you deal with.. How hard when everything settle down and break down in the same day.

So, I am not emotional right now but  talk with my brain and hope. I hope and pray for him and my life forever.

Kitty

Hey You guys

I am so sorry that I havent update this blog before. I have been busy and tried to find a new job so hard. I moved to the new place for three weeks. I sweared to myself that if I couldnt get any job here! I might move on to another state. So, I keep telling myself like this all the time, just wanted to remind myself about a hardly finding job here.

I have a few reason that I dont really want to leave this state. I and my boyfriend waited each other for awhile to live nearby each other. We spend and learm more each other during a hard time and situation. When I was unhappy and worried all of the problems that happened to me. He and his family are always be with me with no doubt. They let me come into their family and I became one part of them. I dont really want to move away from him. It is gonna be hard to let our relationship grow by the long distance. He doesnt want me leave neither. He would love to have our own family and spend the time with me as long as he can.

Anyway, I hope and believe that God has never leave me alone. He always be with me during the hardest time. He knew and realized how hard is life on the global earth. I am also smiling all along even though I got such a really bad storm in my life.

In the former day, my love had a really bad life before. He punished himself to get involve with drug. He has his own daughter but he broke up with his x wife bcoz of she cheatted on him. He sounded hurt really bad. He didnt have a chance to take care of his daughter by himself by the time he broke up with her. Until now, his daughter is 8 yrs old, she is so sweet but sometimes she kept herself by her own, didnt want to talk with anyone even tho her dad. I knew that she got a problem bcoz she didnt grow up with parents. She has to live with the grandparents. That story hurts me so bad. My boyfriend has never gotten her daughter back. She punished herself to not talk with her dad anymore. No one knows what is her problem. First time, I met my bf, I heard his story and kept telling myself that I should help him get away from drug and hope his daughter get back to him. All of thing I wanted to do to him right away seem so hard in the beginning. So, I wont give up. I always told him that everything might get better. He has to give her a hard time. i meant take her time until she realize that.

For my love, right now! he swore to me that I far away from damn drug and friends who invited him did that. He got a wonderful life after he met me. He got his lovely daughter back. I fulfill his new life. He said, he loves me more than I realized becoz of my forgiveness, kidness and happiness. I am calm, hosnest and different one from another women.

I am glad that my life is getter better after a big problem even tho I cant get any job now.

My heart is beating and returns to be freshy by the time when we are living together.

You guys pls wish me luck to find a job. I might get a good news soon.

Kitty 

Hi Guys

I spent such a nice time here in MO. This is a second week and it is going to be forever as I can stay here.

I tried to find a new job online and another way. I got to meet such a nice people at church and somebody around here. This town is small and is not busy as in Virginia or California.

I have to adjust myself to eating American food. Here does not have Asian food. They have just only two place of Chinese restaurant. I went there another day to apply a job. I can do anything now because I need a job hehehe!!!

Yesterday, I went eating dinner with both of a friendly host family since I was an exchange student here. They pick me up and right ahead to Off a hook restaurant. We sat down and talked about how come did I move here? All they were very nice and one of them bought Thai food for me. I said" Thank you to them several time."

I disguss with my boyfriend that we might go back to that restaurant again when he come down here. I would try some fish menu again...

Today is such a great day for me. I am ok that I have to wait for awhile for a new job. I hope and pray with God a lot..

I will let yu guys know again.

Kitty

Long long time ago that I have not gone to the church on Sunday!! While I was working, I had to work on Sunday. Even tho, when I had a plenty of time on my weekend off, I always went to another place such as the mall or thr friend's home. During this time, the sad and hopeful feeling come through again. I have to find a shelter to protect myself from the illness, depressed and hopeless. I would tell you guys that my hope will be with me again no matter what! I willing to have my own life by my big decision. I guess, everything will work out. So, today, I went back to the church again. I went there at my first time here in this state. I met a lot of people. I was the one who came from Asia continent. All of them were so nice. They are looking forward to see me again next week. I promised myself to go back there again with my hope and joy. I shared a lot of my experiences with them. Even tho, my heart gets hurt every single word I explained to them. I do not want my life failed like this!! Some of them offered his or her help about finding a job. Like I said, I can do everything that they need me to work for. I do not mind at all. Just oonly really want the job. If I can not find the job here, I do not really know what should i do next!

God gave me strength this morning by my hopefulness. I know that God never leave me alone, I will get through this situation. Let see next week what is gona be? I can not wait until someone gives me a call and tell me that " You might get a job."

One thing that I can do right now is praying so hard!!! ( I will)

" Thank you everything that God let them happened to my life! A bad or good situations were my best and experiences. I will not blame anyone else or myself about that. Just calm down and hope for tomorrow..I have to walk pass the darkness day by day and take more time". Amen